Merry Christmas!

Our hopes for the future are implied, and therefore in some way present, in what we have done. (120)
~ from "Making a Way Out of No Way" by Monica A. Coleman

Have a Merry Christmas, or Happy Ramadan, Solstice, Chaunakah, or Kwanzaa!

Eat to Love and Love What You Eat

Right now I am in Maryland visiting relatives. For dinner, we are having mashed potatoes, stuffing, creamed spinach and mushrooms - the mushrooms are divine! - and a roast. Everything is already made by my Uncle Kirk, who loves to cook and is great at it. I am making the roast.


New Things I Ate This Morning: a bagel with cream cheese and lox, capers, and onions. It was fabulous! I mean, I felt like I had died and gone to heaven! Kirk told me that the secret was to sprinkle lemon juice on top of the salmon, so that it did not taste too fishy.

New Things I Ate Last Night: slices of an apple that was dipped in caramel, nuts, and chocolate. Yum! Homemade Clam Chowder!!! I had never had it homemade before. I mean, I had had it restaurant-made, but never homemade, especially for me. (My uncle had made it for us, so that if we wanted something after being in the car twelve hours, we could.) Creamy, vegetabley, clammy, bacony goodness! Yum!

It's funny, but on Shapely Prose, a reader joked about the phrase, "Eat to live, not live to eat." I do not just live to eat, but I don't simply "eat to live" either. Some days, like today, I do nearly live to eat. I am eating with friends and family and it is food filled with both the energy I need and with enough love for my life to thrive. We need more than healthy high-fiber bread and skim milk in this world, although there is nothing wrong with those things. We need calories and fat grams of love to bring us together.

Merry Christmas Everybody!

Rosemary Zucchini and Squash Pizza

This pizza was out of this world! I baked squash and zucchini medallions that was covered in rosemary and olive oil from my mother's garden for fifteen minutes.
Then I put them on a piece of garlic Nan, with feta and mozzarella cheeses and then I baked it some more-about five minutes.

The veggies that did not make it on the bread were still baked a little longer and were put in a bowl with the cheeses. Fab!

I have discovered that I just love baked veggies-the heat carmelizes their natural sugar and with a little seasoning, you just cannot go wrong. The bread, although toasted, was super soft and the whole thing melted in my mouth.

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I told my mom today that I am just going to have to suck it up and learn to love and accept my new body. I say "new," because I have gained about ten or fifteen pounds, which has made my boobs bigger and quite a few of my clothes no longer fit me. I saw my nutritionist a few weeks ago and she stated that my eating is great and that I should not change a thing about the way I eat, which was a relief. She did say that I should get more exercise, which for me is either walking, water aerobics, or yoga, because of my arithritis. I have been meaning to do water aerobics at the local park, but I keep on failing to show up in this busy holiday season. I do want to move my body more and I do really want to try out water aerobics, but I finally had to face the fact that right now I am just too busy. Being too busy at times to take perfect care of one's body is okay. In fact, it's more than okay-sometimes it's necessary. Since I do not need to change my diet and since I will not have time to do any serious exercise until I get back from going to Virginia and Maryland to visit relatives, I need to just learn how to love my body. So my belly's a little bigger, so what?! I'm happier than I perhaps have ever been and that matters so much more.

How I Feel

This cartoon describes exactly how I feel, because I just love my new job!

Here are more Ezekiel inspired poems:

God Alone Is God

It is time I give up my idols
And seek instead Godde's justice-love.
Let my sin slip away,
Like the dead skin
That hides the fresh,
Pure skin underneath
And let Godde's light shine
Out from every pore.
"May Your Light Shine" by Margo Langohr
Ez 6:14 "God alone is God."

Do not declare me "emotional"
As if it is a curse -
Godde gave me these emotions!
She told me to cry out
And to beat my breast -
For it is better to mourn
The loss of a nation
Than to pretend
That indifference
Is what makes the world
A wondrous place.

Ez 21:12

12 Cry out and wail, son of man,
for it is against my people;
it is against all the princes of Israel.
They are thrown to the sword
along with my people.
Therefore beat your breast.

Godde never forgets us,
But we forget Godde
Everyday that we
Do not give thanks
for the color purple.

Ez 23:35

35 "Therefore this is what the Sovereign LORD says: Since you have forgotten me and thrust me behind your back, you must bear the consequences of your lewdness and prostitution."

Of course, I was thinking of the book, "The Color Purple," by Alice Walker when I wrote that particular poem. "The Color Purple" is one of those books that literally changed my life and I am pretty sure that is has changed the lives of many people. I know it's changed Oprah's... I saw Alice Walker at Charis' birthday celebration and I absolutely hate to say it, but I was not impressed. She read a lot of her poetry-too much, in fact. She went on and on and church we were in was very hot and uncomfortable. Walker said that we should all go camp out at the borders of disadvantaged countries. That that should be our priority, which sort of pissed me off-How am I going to pay for this when I don't have any money myself and what about the disadvantaged people in our own country? What if I have a different calling or if my personality is not attuned to camping out at the borders of other countries? My minister said she thought that Alice Walker may have forgotten her roots and she seemed privileged. I don't really think I can judge, as I don't really know her, but I sincerely hope not. What I can say is that I sincerely hope that no one ever thinks that I have lost touch with my roots or that I am too privileged.

"Glue Dots" Save the Day!

Just in case you ever want to make a candy cane reindeer, I am going to let you know what makes the red pom-pom nose, the two googly eyes, and the gold (or brown) pipe cleaner antlers stick! Regular glue does not work. Modge Podge does not work and neither does rubber cement. I know, because I tried them all! Now I am sure that super glue or a glue gun would work, but the pieces, especially the eyes, are so small that unless you are really careful, you could really hurt yourself. But never fear-use "glue dots!" These are stretchy little dots of putty with a super strong adhesive on both sides and they work like a charm. For the eyes, you can even pull the dot in half, and roll each side into a tiny ball, perfect for sticking on something so small. To be fair, it was my mom that thought of them. I had already tried the traditional forms of glue and was beginning to think that I would have to come up with a different craft project, when my mom suggested trying the glue dots. You can buy them at any office supply or craft store.

Isn't my Rudolph adorable?!

Discord Can Produce Hope

But not all discord is bad, and discord is always preferable to becoming numb to the world. Discord and conflict are necessary factors in the process of change. Discord can produce hope just as easily as it can produce horror or pain. (67)

~from Monica A. Coleman's book, "Making a Way Out of No Way"

The World Should Be Full of Monster Cookies!

[...] God wants us to have intense experiences. (65)
~ from the book, "Making a Way Out of No Way" by Monica A. Coleman

Yesterday was full of loving and it was absolutely wonderful. First, I went to my friend, Katie's house, and we watched the movie Julia and Julia to get us in the mood for cookie making. After a few cups of tea and peanut butter and honey toast - Yum! - we were definitely in the mood to bake cookies. We had to make these cookies for the cookie swap at my church's Christmas party that night. Katie - my friend - made cute, little lemon cookies, but I made big, honkin' Monster Cookies. The recipe is from the book, "Mrs. Witty's Monster Cookies," by Helen Witty and this is a much loved book, as my mom and I used recipes from this book all the time when I was a kid

The cookies are called monster cookies, because they are so big - six inches! - and the ones I made are called "Apple Saucers." They have apples, walnuts, raisins, oats, apple juice, lemon extract, nutmeg, cinnamon, and cloves, making them the perfect holiday or fall treat. And they are so hearty that they are also a perfect breakfast bar and much yummier than any breakfast bar that you can buy!

Ingredients:
1/2 Cup vegetable shortening
1 1/4 Cups (packed) light or dark brown sugar
2 Eggs
1/4 teaspoon lemon extract
1 1/2 Cups all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
Big pinch ground cloves
1 1/2 Cups chopped, peeled, firm tart apples (about 2 medium apples)
1 Cup raisins or currants
1 Cup regular or quick-cooking rolled oats
1 Cup coarsely choppeed walnuts
1/4 cup apple or orange juice

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease a cookie sheet.

2. In a mixing bowl (using a wooden spoon) or in the large bowl of an electric mixer (I used Katie's fabulous KitchenAid electric mixer, which I do slightly covet...), cream the shortening until soft.

3. Then beat in the brown sugar until the mixture is fluffy. Beat in the eggs one at a time, then beat in the lemon extract.

4. Sift together the flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves. Stir half of the flour mixture into the creamed mixture. Stir in the chopped apples raisins, oats, and nuts.

5. Stir in the juice, then add and mix in the remaining flour mixture.

Form and Bake the Cookies

For six-inch monsters: For each cookie, measure out a level 1/4 cup of dough; place the mounds of dough well apart on the greased baking sheet (most sheets will only accomodate three, but mine handled six just fine!). Flatten the dough, using your fingers or a rubber spatula, to make neat five-inch rounds.

As Katie and I were baking together, with Christmas music playing in the background, it seemed as if the room was filled with a loving glow. In fact, I believe it was. I remarked to Katie that, "I think this is what the world is supposed to be like-just two people baking cookies together-and not what it usually is." Katie agreed, saying that she tries to make the world this way as much as she possibly can.

In the book I am currently reading, "Making a Way Out of No Way," by Monica A. Coleman, evil is described as being loss and inwardly, I grieved just a little bit over the loss that so many people have of the kind of wonderful, joyous moments, like the one I was experiencing. I want this world to be full of joy and I want to bring joy into this world.

Later, I went to two Christmas parties, each of which had their own special kind of joy. My church party was shorter, but full of different people thoroughly mingling with one another, while my best friend's party was like five different, separate parties. I must say, I enjoyed both types of parties equally. It was nice getting to see some faces I had not seen in a while at both parties, including my blogger friend, Ashley, who runs the inspirational blog, Overcoming Schizophrenia. At my church party, there was lots to do and many people to talk to, but it left me feeling like there was not enough time or space to meet and greet everyone I wanted to. At my best friend's party, I gave myself permission to stay mostly with one group of people-a circle of friends that I had not seen in a long while. These people always make me laugh and by the end of the night, we were all talking about how our cheeks hurt and were going to be sore the next day from laughing so much.

This is how the world is supposed to be-full of joy, laughter, and new experiences. I dearly wish that it was this way for everyone.

No Longer Afraid of Portobello Mushrooms!

I don't know why, but I have always been afraid to cook portobello mushrooms. They seem very gourmet to me and my cooking is anything, except gourmet! They were on sale at the grocery store and I thought to myself, "Why not?!" So I grilled them on my George Foreman grill and they were fabulous! I am now proud to say that I am no longer afraid of these mushrooms.
First, I let them sit in this marinade for an hour.

After grilling, I put them on toasted Arnold Thins, slathered with cream cheese. The reason I chose cream cheese is because I know people often pair goat cheese with mushrooms and I figured cream cheese is similar enough to goat cheese to use as a substitute and I was right. As my friend yesterday said, "Cheese is better than butter!"

Corn Salad - "Cheese is Better than Butter"

I was going to make another pretzel salad for my church's potluck supper, but it needs a night to set and I was too lazy last night to start it, so I made a really easy -my own recipe!- corn salad instead. I discovered this recipe when I was making my fabulous cornbread one day and I used these ingredients for the base.

Ingredients:
2 cans of Green Giant Chipotle White Corn (I ended up not using the middle can...)
Sour Cream to taste
Shredded Cheddar Cheese to taste
1/2 Small Onion

Directions: Mix well and enjoy!

I got a lot compliments, which almost did not seem fair, since it only took a minute to make! I am sorry that there is not a picture of the end result, but I guess I was too excited to remember to take a picture! Whoops!

I do have to share a great statement that one of the kids said to me tonight when I told him that one of the ingredients was cheese.

Me: Cheese makes everything better.

Kid: Yeah, cheese is better than butter!

Indeed, oh, indeed it is!

Psalm 29

You that are mighty in this world,
Realize that the Almighty is far mightier
Than anything You can imagine.
Recognize that Godde alone
Is the truely Glorious One.

Do you hear the crashing thunder
Or see the lightning flash?
That is really Godde speaking to our heart
And Godde's splendor being made manifest.
Do not be fooled!
The Holy One's voice is electrifying!
Giant trees are felled with one word;
Mighty mountains are like mere
Stepping stones to Godde.

So do not worry!
Let Yahweh shake your desert heart
And move you to seek Godde's justice-love.
Give up your false images of control
And stand in awe of Godde's
Thunderous love.

Let Love storm your own heart.
Let it strengthen you,
So that you may be strong
Enough to bring peace.
To read an excellent article about the original psalm, click on the picture. To compare it to the original, click here.***********
Scholars think that the 29th Psalm is the oldest psalm and it is basically saying to the Canaanites' storm and fertility god, Ba'al, "Our God is stronger than your God." Our God is also stronger than mental illness, disorders, and addiction of any kind. We have to trust in the Holy One, which I know firsthand can be really hard to do. It has been hard for me to give up control with both my eating disorder and with finding a job, but I find that the more I focus on God and on living, the less I need to obsess about food and I find that if I just trust in the process or journey of life, then I will find that the things I need will come to fruition. For instance, my job was finally made official this week-it took a long time and it was really hard to trust in God at times, but God has provided. It can be really easy for me to say, "Well, only sort of, it is not full-time and I won't get benefits," but I have to trust that this is where I am supposed to be and that life will get even better.

Kickass Carrots!

This recipe is from Pioneer Woman and features fresh thyme. I used the last of our thyme from our garden at home.

Ingredients:
12 Carrots
Handful of fresh thyme
Salt and Pepper
1/4 Cup Olive Oil

The recipe is super easy and super yummy! My mom had found the recipe online and I must admit that I was a little skeptical at first, but these carrots are absolutely delish and I will definitely make these again.
1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
2. Cut the carrots lengthwise-this ensures that they will cook evenly.
3. Mix them in the olive oil (the recipe said 1/2 cup, but I think it would be fine to use less.)
4. Sprinkle thyme and a little salt and pepper.
5. Bake for 35 minutes.

The carrots will look a little withered when they come out, but that's normal. You can eat them with a fork or just pick them up with your fingers and eat them like fries. The only problem is that just like fries, they will be gone quickly, so make plenty.

More Ezekiel Inspired Poems

The Question

Whether they listen or not
Is not the final question.

It is rather whether you speak
Godde's truth to power.

You can only control yourself
And that,
Really,
Is up for debate!

Pieces of Meat

If you think you are a choice piece of meat,
Think again.

The true choice cuts are those
have been tossed aside
And left to die.

We must purge out our gristle
And be hammered by life's trials
To become tender and vulnerable
As people of Godde.

To become a juicy fillet,
We must first go through
The fire.

Ez. 11:7 "Therefore this is what the Sovereign Lord says: The bodies you have thrown there are the meat and this city is the pot, but I will drive you out of it."

Godde Signs

We are signs of Godde to each other.

Some say, "Go!
Be bold in Godde!"

Others say,"Caution-
Change is coming!"

Still others, "Stop!
Godde knows best!"

But all of us hold
A piece of God in
Our hearts

And if we let our
Godde-Light shine
Out strong

The darkest night
Will be but a
Shadow.

Ez 12:11 "Say to them, 'I am a sign to you.'

Psalm 28 - Do Not Remain Silent!

Those who reside in Hell are only
Those for whom You are silent.
So listen to my plea for mercy
And answer me with Your strength.

Do not remain silent to me,
As You do with those who are false -
Those whose words are like lace to each other,
But are really a web of lies.
Although the world bestows them with honor,
I know You will find them in their web,
All tangled and unable to become unstuck.

Yes! Godde has answered my plea for mercy
And my heart leaps for joy.
I cannot help but sing!

The Holy One makes the weak mighty-
She is a powerhouse for the powerless,
And in the crook of her arms,
She is ready to carry her children home.


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To compare it to the original, go here.
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I have started reading my Bible right before I go to sleep and as I think about the verses I have just read, I put my thoughts into little poems. Perhaps one day they will be published... Here are a few of mine, all inspired by Ezekiel.

God's Hand

The hand of the Lord is upon me
Just like it was for Ezekiel,
And just like it was for Elisha.
My name may not begin with the letter "E,"
But I am still a prophet.
I am enough!
I am important-
But not more so than you.

So join me now.
Together,
Let us journey home.

Ez 1:3 "The hand of the Lord was upon him."

God's Voice

God's voice is in the "roar of rushing waters."
It is in the song of a sparrow.
It is in my soul.

Listen with your inner ear-
Truly hear what Godde is saying:
"You are loved!"

Ez 1:24 "When the creatures moved, I heard the sounds of their wings, like the roar of rushing waters, like the voice of the Almighty, like the tumult of an army."
William Blake
The Whirlwind: Ezekiel's Vision of the Cherubim and Eyed Wheels circa 1803-1805
Pen and watercolour over pencil on paper, 394 x 295 mm

Godde's Radiance

Godde's radiance is like a rainbow.
It sparkles and shimmers
And does not seem real-
Too much beauty!
But it is real.

Open your eyes to the joy that is around you.
Godde promises Her presence is not only near,
But continually filling us up with her radiant joy
If we will just open the door!

Ez 1:28 "Like the appearance of a rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the radiance around him."

What do you think? They're very similar in style to my psalms... If you guys like them, I'll continue to post my little sacred poems.

Pretzel Salad

Every Thanksgiving needs a salad! No, not a healthy, leafy, green salad, full of good for you fiber, but a jello salad, full of butter, sugar, and fat! This recipe is from allrecipe.com and it's actually called a "pretzel salad," because is uses pretzels for the base. It turned out deliscious! I made it and took it to a friend's house where we had fabulous food and fellowship. The fellowship was especially great, as my Naval officer brother was able to come home at the last minute.

Ingredients
2 cups crushed pretzels
3/4 cup margarine, melted
2 teaspoons white sugar
1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese
3/4 cup white sugar
4 1/2 ounces frozen whipped topping, thawed
1 (6 ounce) package strawberry flavored gelatin
2 cups boiling water
2 (10 ounce) packages frozen strawberries

1.Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C).
2.In a medium bowl, mix crushed pretzels, margarine and sugar.

3.Press crushed pretzel mixture into the bottom of a 9x13 inch baking dish, and bake in the preheated oven 8 minutes. Remove from heat and allow to cool.
Blend together the cream cheese and sugar.

Fold in whipped topping and spread evenly over cooled pretzel mixture.

5.In a medium bowl, dissolve the strawberry flavored gelatin in boiling water.
Mix in strawberries and set aside to cool for 15 minutes.

Isn't it beautiful? It tasted beautiful too!

Before we started eating, I overheard my mother say, "Thanksgiving is the one time when we can eat a lot and not feel guilty." I charge you to not feel guilty any time you eat (and me too), even if you eat a lot. Food is energy and we need this energy to survive. We should give thanks for our food and the ability to live everyday!

Protein Power!

Two eggs, sunny-side-up, on top of refried beans, on top of toasted Arnold Thins, with shredded cheddar cheese. Yummmy! This is my new favorite lunch! I have no idea how I knew that the beans and eggs would go together so perfectly, but somehow I just knew. It is super packed with protein and fiber-two things that keep me going throughout my busy days. It's especially good, because my new medicine makes me extra hungry and these open-faced sandwiches really hit the spot.
My mom thinks that the combination sounds too weird, but push aside those inhibitions, because this is sheer food heaven!
To be honest, I have been having trouble adjusting to the extra weight that I have gained due to my new meds. Sometimes I feel like my eating disorder is not just a disorder, but is more like a really evil entity that I must serve. The gained weight means that I am doing well in my recovery, but when most of my pants do not fit anymore, it can be hard to remember that recovery is the desired goal and not serving ED.

I was feeling really down before going to church today, but when I got to church it was announced that a friend of the church recently died. This was a person that fully embraced life and many people came to her funeral and to my church to remember all the good that she had done. This reminded me what really matters in this life is not how much we weigh, but how fully we live our life. I am thankful that I am now in a place where my mind is open enough to receive these life lessons. So what if I weigh a little more? I am alive and grateful for it!

NAMI's Multicultural Action Center Wins the Fruit and Nut Bowl Award

At the annual “Alternatives Conference” organized by the National Mental Health Consumers' Self-Help Clearinghouse, NAMI’s Multicultural Action Center and received the conference’s “Fruit and Nut Bowl Award.”

No, the name of the award is not a slur.

It’s an honor.

The award recognized NAMI’s leadership in helping to "make it safe": for the LGBT community "to be proud and diverse" in addressing mental health needs.

The Multicultural Action Center mission includes public education to decrease stigma. In many respects, the Fruit n’ Nut award is a statement of pride that stands stigma on its head and unifies the LGBT and mental health consumer communities.

The award was first presented in 2007 to Bert Coffman of the Zappolarti Society, which runs a weekly LGBT peer support and recovery group in New York City.

Coffman presented the award to the center’s director Majose Carrasco and coordinator Marin Swesey. He specifically cited NAMI’s creation of the center in 2002 to eliminate disparities in mental health care among diverse communities and the organization in 2007 of the GLBT Leaders Group.

"MAC stepped to the plate," Coffman said in recognizing sexual and gender communities as "a culture deserving status akin to African American, American Indian, Alaska Native, American Pacific Islander and Latino cultures."

With the GLBT Leaders Group, the center has set a course for education and advocacy, including “outstanding products” such as Mental Health Recovery and Community Integration Guide for GLBTQI Individuals and its companion publication, GLBTQI Mental Health: Recommendations for Policies and Services.

In presenting the award, Coffman stood in for Mark Davis, a member of the GLBT Leaders group, who like too many people in recent weeks, was side-lined at home with the flu. Davis himself recently received a Voice Award from the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA).
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I think it is really great that my organization won this award! When I first joined NAMI, one of the reasons why I was nervous is because I am "out" about being bisexual and I was afraid that I might experience some stigma due to this, but I did not. In fact, to my surprise I was not the only queer person in attendance! I am very proud to say that I have never experienced any stigma or even weirdness due to my sexual identity. I told a fellow NAMI member about how excited I was that NAMI got this award and she said, "Of course, people that are marginalized due to mental illness are going to be accepting of everybody..." It is true that people that are in recovery are more accepting of other people, because they are aware of their own struggles and so know that it would be a foolhardy thing to judge another. Still, I was suprised at just how open everyone was and continues to be. When I read about the award, I knew that it would be what I would write about in our next newsletter. I am out and am proud of NAMI!

Psalm 27

Psalm 27

The Holy One is my flashlight
And it shows me my salvation.
If I follow it, then why fear?
The Holy One is my foundation
And my life is built upon it.
If I live there, then why fear?
Some people are like the flesh-eating bacteria-
Only they want to feed upon my soul.
Even in the midst of war,
When I am surrounded by the soul-terrorists,
I will stand firm and shine bright.

I do ask to stay inside my house made of love.
Let me stay there all of my life.
I only want to surround myself in beauty
Instead of hate.
I want to stay in safety
Instead of fear.

I know my house is really your house.
I know I am protected by your love.
Therefore I will drown out the shrieks of sorrow
With my songs of joy.

Like the game “Marco Polo”
When I call out your name
Please respond.
I listen with my heart
And I want to see your face.
I search everywhere-
Shine your light upon it!
Do not reject me like my imperfect parents,
But stay and support me forever.
Unlike my other teachers
Teach me to follow Your truth.
For the soul-terrorists breathe out death,
But you fill me with life!

This knowledge strengthens my conviction
To wait patiently for your victorious day.
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To compare it to the original, go here.

On a Rainy Day, Make Marshmellows

It was another rainy day and I was feeling miserable and bored, so I decided to make marshmellows! The recipe was posted last February for Valentine's Day-I can't believe I did not lose it!-in the Atlanta Journal Constitution. When I first saw the article, I did not even know that one could make marshmellows at home! I wasn't too wild about them, so I threw the recipe away after I made the marshmellows, which I am wishing that I had not, because now I will not be able to give the exact recipe to you. Whoops!
Boil corn syrup and some other stuff.

Three packs of unflavored gelatin and some water looks kinda funny.
Pour boiled cornstarch into bowl with gelatin. Add two cups of sugar and some vanilla flavoring. You can add other types of flavoring and food coloring if you want. I wish that we had had other types of flavoring, myself, as I would like to try mint marshmellows!I thought the pictures of me using egg beaters turned out pretty cool.

Grease a sheet of saran wrap and place it in a 9x9 baking dish. Then pour in the mixture and let it set for at least three hours, although the texture is best if you leave it overnight. Cover with powdered sugar.
I was not wowed, although I did like the texture much better in the morning. It tasted great in a cup of cocoa, but I will probably not make it again. Still, it definitely improved my mood that day. You know what they say, when life hands you lemons, make marshmellows?