I talk honestly and openly about my experiences with mental illness, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome through the lens of feminism, fat acceptance and process theology. I also do recipe and book reviews. My mission is to spread the message that hope is always real for a better life, despite living in a world that is often very harsh.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Bowling for Recovery - A Gutter Ball Girl No More!

Several weeks ago, a bunch of people from my work got together for a bowling/team building party and to my surprise, I had a really good time! And to my even bigger surprise, I didn't absolutely suck at bowling!

I have never been good at bowling, so I was not really looking forward to the event. I am not good at any sport and I have a lot of trouble remembering the different rules for each activity,so I prefer activities without such specifics, like playing music or writing poetry (free verse). When bowling, I usually get so tired of throwing gutter balls that I completely give up trying at all. I was nervous, because as the newest member of the team, I did not want to be known as "The Gutter-Ball Girl" for the rest of my work days. I had not bowled since high school-my last score of a whooping zero had effectively squelched any desire to try it again!

But I convinced myself to attend the last hour of the get together, but this time, without even knowing it, I had a secret weapon that got me out of the gutter - confidence! I was the only person there still in their work clothes and I did not care. I was the last to attend and I did not care. I barely knew the people and even so, I truly did not care! It was wonderful! Fantastic! I joked, laughed, had a few glasses of beer, and made a few gutter balls...but my score was not zero, but a 58!!! Okay, so it's not great, but it is certainly much better than zero!!!

What struck me the most was that I finally realized that the major reason why I had done so horribly at at least bowling was because I had been so preoccupied with how other people were viewing me that I had no room left in my brain to think about the game. People did not care that I was wearing my boring, all-black work attire and I did not worry that they were staring at my butt. We were, however, watching one of our associate's butt! Whenever Brian would get ready to bowl, he would do this little hopping move, wiggle his butt, and then, voila: score! We all laughed, but we were not making fun-we were just having a good time and I finally realized just how foolish my teenage years had been and I was suddenly so proud of where I am now.

No comments:

Post a Comment