Showing posts from October, 2009

Psalm 24 - Who is the Queen of Glory?

Let the Queen enter in! She deserves the seat of glory- Let all shout with delight Whenever she passes by. Rachel and Sarah’s children seek Her out As She seeks the world. She opens Her hands: Grab them! Let Her twirl you in Her joy- You are found! Who is the Queen of Glory? The Holy One, whose Love is strong and mighty. **************************************************** To compare it to the original, go here . The words in this reworking are also a play of the words from one of the movements from Handel's Messiah, although really, all of the words that Handel used were taken from the Bible, so it is from the same source, but I think it helps to know what my personal frame of reference is. One of my favorite assurances is often told by my minister, "You can never be lost, only more and more found." Today I was feeling a bit anxious as I haved gained some weight and I went to a Halloween party last night where I ate a bunch of sweets. And then I made dinner and it

Finally, a Profile Picture!

This is my 115 post and I finally have a profile picture! lol Isn't he handsome? He's my very lovable cat, Arlo, named after Arlo Guthrie. See the resemblance?! I'm a huge folkie fan... In my last post, I talked about being excited about a new job. I have not started the job yet, because I have to take a first aid and CPR course first, but I will in a few weeks. But there is something else that I am excited about-I have posted some of my embroidered bags on etsy! There is a link on both my blogs to my shop, Bright Hope Bags . I tried to get the name, Embroider Me, but that was already taken... There are four bags total on sale, so far. Here are two that I have not previously posted here: The copper square on the red bag, states "Wish" and the copper oval on the blue bag states, "Memories." I am hoping that with the Christmas season approaching that people will be more likely to buy whimsical and unneccessary items... But if not, then I'll try

Chilling, But True...

In the spirit of the season, a chillingly true tale sure to give you goosebumps: Earlier this year, the nation's public mental health care system for adults received the average grade of D... the same grade it received three years ago. Despite the ghastly grade, many lawmakers continue to cut funding to mental health services as a way to offset the struggling economy. The state of our mental health care system is frightening. Your generous contribution supports NAMI's fight to awaken our nation from this nightmare and continue our work to improve the lives of everyone affected by mental illness. Go to for more.

Three Men in a Boat Quote & Gratitude

From "Three Men in a Boat: To Say Nothing of the Dog," by Jerome K. Jerome: It was a glorious night. The moon had sunk and left the quiet earth alone with the stars. It seemed as if, in the silence and the hush, while we her children slept, they were talking with her, their sister-conversing of mighty mysteries in voices too vast and deep for childish human ears to catch the sound. They awe us, these strange stars, so cold, so clear. We are as children whose small feet have strayed into some dim-lit temple of the god they have been taught to worship but know not; and, standing where the echoing dome spans the long vista of the shadowy light, glance up, half hoping, half afraid to see some awful vision hovering there. And yet it seems so full of comfort and of strength, the night. In its great presence, our small sorrows creep away, ashamed. The day has been so full of fret and care, and our hearts have been so full of evil and of bitter thoughts, and the world has seemed so

My Sermon - Acknowledge Your Fear and Then Move On

Later today I am preaching at my church, Circle of Grace , and I thought I would post my sermon here, as it very much pertains to the principles I talk about on this blog. I even include my own blog name, because the words, "Hope is real" has become my own little mantra and has really helped my own recovery. ******************************** A month or two ago, I was watching the news and I had an “Aha!” moment. The news caster was saying something to the effect that it is okay to drop bombs, because you are afraid and I thought to myself, “That’s not right!” It’s not that fear is a “bad” emotion, but that there is a difference between feeling fear and acting on it. One can feel fear, but not live in it. I know this, because I distinctly feel fearful everyday. I wake up with fear! Living with several big disabilities- fibromyalgia , chronic fatigue syndrome , schizoaffective disorder and an eating disorder does limit my life in ways that I cannot fully anticipate. When I ge

Enjoy Life! - A Quote from Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, one of two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing. You will find the boat easier to pull then, and it will not be so liable to upset, and it will not matter so much if it does upset; good, plain merchaindise will stand water. You will have time to think as well as to work. Time to drink in life's sunshine - time to listen to the Aeolian music that the wind of God draws from the human heart-strings around us - from " Three Men in a Boat " (21) by Jerome K. Jerome . I am currently reading this book and am thoroughly loving it. Shapely Prose did a wonderful fluffy post about it one day and I was inspired to read it myself. It is a humorous book, and even though it was written in the Victorian Era, the hu

Psalm 23 - Do Not Fear, Do Not Worry!

Sing to me Your song of peace, Sing to me Your song of comfort, And sing to me Your song of hope. Tell me that the LORD is my own And that She will lead me home. When the pain begins again, Remind me that there is nothing I need For Christ is holding my hand. Let me revel in the peace soon to be mine. Let me feel the care that only my Godde can give. Let me be whole again. Speak to me of fear’s replacement- When I with LOVE shall slip past Death, Of how LOVE shall comfort away all fear. Whisper gently, O LOVE, Of the banquent waiting for me, Of the blessings as numerous and shining as the stars. Now I know my days are filled with goodness And I cannot wait to live with Godde forever. *************************************************** For the original, go here . This psalm is often spoken at funerals, but I have also heard it said that it is a psalm that is really for the living, because it is about living without fear. The person knows what that she will be taken care of and so

Avocado vs. Slimcado

At the grocery store last week, I noticed something strange-a fruit that looked like an avocado, except it was a brighter green, much larger, and smoother. The label said, "slimcado" and my mom explained that it's supposed to taste like an avocado, but have less fat. Intrigued, I put both a regular avocado and a slimcado in the cart. I tried them both when we got home and taste-wise the avocado wins by a landslide, which is a shame since the slimcado is so much bigger! Turkey burgers were on sale, so I bought a pack of those too. I soaked them in mixture of garlic and worcheshire sauce, grilled them on my fabulous George Foreman grill, slathered it with goat cheese, and topped them off with avocado slices. A gourmet turkey burger if there ever was one and so deliscious! Quick too, as I only had to grill the burger for six minutes. What I especially loved is that the burger was not greasy at all, but still full of flavor.

Finally Fall and Finally an Adult-A Roast!

Aren't those cranberries and apples just gorgeous? Fall is here! Unfortunately, this has been the rainiest fall ever in my 28 years in Atlanta and I don't like it one bit!!! Flooding was so bad that some schools closed! On the other hand, I've been inside the house more, with more time to cook and so I made my first roast all by myself. To me, a roast is the ultimate grownup dish, although I did not make the standard pot roast, but I used my beautiful, red, slow cooker once again. And I must say, the dish was divine! The recipe was from my old standby cookbook, "Fix-It and Forget It Lightly" by Phyllis Pellman Good and the cranberries and apples made the pork so sweet, it was like pork candy! This was another big step for me ED-wise, because pork is another one of my fear foods, but I adore cranberries and my mom had already bought the pork when it was on sale... Ingredients 2 lbs Pork Tenderloin, fat trimmed 2 Tbsp. Canola Oil 3 cups Apple Juice 3 Granny Smit

Psalm 22 - "Only You Deemed My Body Acceptable"

My Godde, My Godde, why have You forsaken me? My heart is dust without Your presence. I need You more than my own hands and feet For my name is Anguish. I believe in You; I know You are holy. But do you believe in me? Will You show me the love You’ve shown others? Deliver me from this pit; Hungry lions and wild dogs circle me, Looking at me with murderous eyes. Save me! You have answered me and Your answers please my ears. Only You deserve praise! For only You set my heart to beating, Only You deemed my body acceptable. Now my name is Grateful. I shall remember Your mercy forever And I will tell my children, And they will tell their children, And we will tell the world. ******************************************** To compare it to the original, go here . If you do, you'll probably notice that the first line is the same in both. When I write these poems, it's interesting which words speaks to my heart and which words I decide to change. This thought, "Only You de

Country Apple Tacos

Have old apple slices and don't know what to do with them? Cook 'em! I made Country Apples from the book, Fix-It and Forget-It Lightly, by Phyllis Pellman Good and they were fabulous! Ingredients: 4-5 cups apples, peeled and sliced 2 Tbsp. flour 1/4 cup Sugar 1/3 cup Raisins 1/4 tsp. Ground Cinnamon 2/3 cup Dry Oatmeal, rolled or quick 1 cup Water 2 Tbsp. Butter, melted 1/3 cup Brown Sugar 1. Coat apples in flour and white sugar. Stir in raisins, cinnamon, and oatmeal. 2. Pour water into slow cooker. Add apple mix. 3. Pour melted butter over apples. Sprinkle with brown sugar. 4. Cover. Cook on low 5-6 hours. 5. Serve over vanilla frozen yogurt, or spread it on flat bread, or both. I did!

Spiritual Quote of the Day:

This is cross-posted at Femi-Nation It is important not to domesticate Jesus' social passion. The point is not that Jesus was a good guy who accepted everybody, and thus we should do the same (though that would be good). Rather, his teachings and behavior reflect an alternative social vision. Jesus was not talking about how to be good and how to behave within the famework of a domination system. He was a critic of the domination system itself. Indeed, that's the best explanation for why he was killed. He wasn't simply a nice inclusive fellow but a religious social prophet whose teaching, behavior, and social vision radically challenged the elites and the domination system of his day. From the book, "The God We Never Knew," by Marcus J. Borg. Discuss.

Fabulous Fried Okra & Conquering a Fear Food

I have a very "sensitive" stomach and so cannot eat a lot of fried foods, but fried okra has always been my exception. It's my favorite food! Really, I love okra any way that it can be cooked-I'll even eat it raw, which I know grosses out a lot of people. In January, I had a colonoscopy and it confirmed that I have IBS, or Irritable Bowel Syndrome, so while it is definitely true that I have logical reasons for being careful with what I eat, it is also true that when I was really sick, I would use it as an excuse not to eat. Eating fried foods, especially fried veggies, every once in a while is still perfectly okay! So when I was grocery shopping a few days ago and I saw that okra was on sale, I thought to myself, "Why don't I really torture ED?! Why don't I learn how to make fried okra?!!!" It may sound silly, but I felt like a rebel as I put the okra in my cart. I felt like any minute the eating disorder god would strike me down with lightning bo

Psalm 21 - Let Us Give Thanks for "It's Only a Number!"

L: Great Ones rejoice in You, dear Godde P: So do I. L: You have given much to many- P: Including myself. L: The sun and moon bow down before You, P: So do I. L: All of creation cries out your name, P: So do I. L: Trees, rocks, mountains, fish, birds, reptiles, mammals- All of the world’s righteous love You, P: For You first loved us. All: Thank You Godde. ("L" stands for Leader and "P" for People.) To compare it to the original, go to Bible Gateway. (painting by Mark Kuhne ) ***************************************************** It is fitting that the next psalm I post is purely about giving thanks, for that is all I was thinking about a few days ago! Last Friday, my mom and I had some much needed mother-daughter time and we used that time to go shopping for jeans, which I also very much needed. When I was a preteen, I loved to go clothes shopping with my mom, but then as my eating disorder progressed, shopping for clothes became very stressful, with me usuall

I Don't Need No Stinkin' McDonald's! - My Own Egg McMuffin

Yesterday, I bought these new round flatbread sandwich buns by Arnold brand bread-I got them for my wonderful toasted chicken salad sandwiches that I eat all the time, but I tested them out first thing this morning, by creating an egg sandwich that was better by far than any one could order at a restaurant! It's very simple! Toast the bread for three minutes, slather a mixture of mayonaise and mustard - its good, I promise - onto the bread, fry an egg, and enjoy! Pierce the yolk first-it's nature's greatest sauce! Is your mouth watering yet? I was quite proud of myself too, as this was only the second time that I've ever made eggs by myself that did not end up scrambled! I discovered the secret to frying an egg is...patience. But not much, because eggs are really probably the fastest food to cook and so satisfying to the soul! Egg-tastic!

Snacking Beauty

Cottage cheese with almonds and canned mixed fruit, including cherries. I just thought the colors were so beautiful that I had to share! The snack was so easy and so yummy and yet a few years ago, eating this would have given me a panic attack, as nuts used to be one of my supreme fear foods. People would try to tell me about how nuts have "good fat" and about how healthy they are, but my eating disorder would not let me listen! To be in "control," I had to stick to my own rules, no matter how irrational. Thank Godde, I can eat foods like this without stressing out, for even though I now acknowledge that I have little control in life, I am much, much happier!

Embroider Me III and a Little Bit of Clarity

I am often too tired to write long, intellectual posts or to do many other things that I would like to do, but in those times, I am finding it much easier to take refuge in my creativity. Instead of long, feminist rants, I am writing short, insightful poetry and instead of using my legs to take me on the long walks that I used to love, I am using my fingers to sew and embroider. Thursday, I wrote this poem after showing my therapist my embroidered bags for the first time and she agreed that I might be able to make a little money by selling them at craft shows, which gives me a great feeling. I set up another site, called Femi-Nation , in order to be more political and "radical," but I am having to rethink whether I should continue it, since I am too tired to keep up with it in the way that I had intended. I am also rethinking what I am called to be. It is becoming ever more clear to me that I need to focus more on my recovery and on doing things that are positive than on dwe

Support NAMI - Donate Towards NAMI Walks

On Oct. 3rd, this Saturday, NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) GA is having a walk-a-thon, called NAMI Walks, in order to raise money to help pay for the services that they provide for our community. I will be there that day volunteering my time and I hope that after reading why NAMI is important that you will donate a little bit of money towards the group in my name by going here . Even if you can’t, please pass this announcement to someone else, because awareness about mental health advocacy is ultimately the goal. NAMI is the nation’s largest grassroots advocacy group for mental illness and I am a member of the Gwinnett branch. This group is dedicated to breaking the stigma surrounding mental illness by educating all the people in a community – those with mental illness, family members, police officers, even President Obama, as representatives from NAMI recently met with him during a summit on mental health. But the reason I am asking you to support NAMI is personal! If