I talk honestly and openly about my experiences with mental illness, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome through the lens of feminism, fat acceptance and process theology. I also do recipe and book reviews. My mission is to spread the message that hope is always real for a better life, despite living in a world that is often very harsh.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

It's Not About Me

Today was the second day of the NAMI Connections training. For the most part, I really enjoyed it, because there was a lot more role playing than yesterday. The best way for me to learn is through action and imitation, so I definitely think that today's training was more productive, at least for me.

During one of the role plays today, I had an "Aha!" moment that helped ease my stress level-I realized that becoming a facilitator is not about me and I immediately felt a lot better. I had been really stressed out earlier, because I just could not let go a stressful incident that happened this past Tuesday at my NAMI group. To be honest, I really did not want to return to my group and my mind just kept ruminating and ruminating over what had happened. But you know, not everything in life is about me! I can use what I am learning at this training to help other people and I do not have to let what the person at my group say bother me. As my sponsor would say, "It's that person's business what they think of me." I cannot control other people, places, or events and I have come to realize that I too often try to control that which I cannot. I think constant worrying is a way that we try to control what cannot be controlled. As the day went on, when I started to get stressed about going back to the meeting, I would tell myself "It is not about me." Saying that eased off the pressure and now I have a new mantra that works.

We need to be humble and not codependent. I cannot control you and you cannot control me. So don't even try! Let us instead try to live together in harmony.

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