I talk honestly and openly about my experiences with mental illness, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome through the lens of feminism, fat acceptance and process theology. I also do recipe and book reviews. My mission is to spread the message that hope is always real for a better life, despite living in a world that is often very harsh.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

It's Valentine's Day - Bah, Humbug!

Ho-hum, it's Valentine's Day... Valentine's Day is my least favorite holiday for many reasons. One, I'm single and have been for a long time. Two, there doesn't seem to be any real meaning behind it. Three, it's the anniversary of the first time I was hospitalized for my eating disorder. Yuck!

I am trying to reframe how I think about Valentine's Day and instead think of it as a second Thanksgiving. I am working on the 12 steps and one thing I have noticed about myself is that I am not grateful nearly often enough. Being grateful helps center one onto the things in life that truly matter. So here are some things this Valentine's that I am grateful for:

1. My Parents - They have supported me leaving college early and coming back home. They are supporting me as I attempt to get disability. They are the wind beneath my wings.

2. My Church - I am a leader at my church and playing for them gives my life a great sense of value and purpose. It raises my self-esteem to contribute to such a fantastic group of people. During our worship, I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit and the food there nourishes my stomach and my senses. The people there are a truly caring group of people.

3. My Ridgeview Recovery Community - I attend several support groups at Ridgeview and they are loving, healthy groups. The people make me laugh and I know they also care for me deeply. Sometimes I feel the Holy Spirit among us too.

4. The Twelve Steps - Before I started doing the twelve steps, I was very bitter and always focusing on the things that I do not have, instead of my wonderful blessings. Now that I am working the program, I feel like my life has a renewed purpose and it is easier for me to live in the moment.

5. My Medicine - I know that without my medicine, my emotions would not be stable enough for me to concentrate on so many activities. I am blessed to have finally found a medicine that works.

If you are like me and are single and are hating Valentine's Day, as you eat another piece of chocolate, write down what you are grateful for and hopefully your mood will lift a bit as mine has.

What's on your gratitude list?

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