I talk honestly and openly about my experiences with mental illness, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome through the lens of feminism, fat acceptance and process theology. I also do recipe and book reviews. My mission is to spread the message that hope is always real for a better life, despite living in a world that is often very harsh.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

You Are What You Cook - a Nutty Chocolate Raspberry Smoothie, That's Me!

Sophia, from Burp and Slurp, wants people to make up a recipe that defines you. I thought that was a great idea and so I dreamed up my own recipe - Nutty Chocolate Raspberry Smoothie and it is divine!

The first thing you will notice about this recipe is that it does not have many ingredients-just a couple scoops of chocolate frozen yogurt, raspberries, blueberries, 1/4 t. of nutmeg, and some milk. Long ingredient lists really overwhelm me. I know that most of the time the ingredients are things that the people already have lying around the house, but seeing the long list just makes me nervous. Now I'm going to break down why these ingredients represent me and I will apologize in advance-there's going to be a lot of puns!
Chocolate frozen yogurt - I absolutely LOVE chocolate! One of my fave desserts is chocolate frozen yogurt with frozen berries on top. I chose frozen yogurt over ice cream, because while I am definitely not a health nut, I do try to make my meals balanced and frozen yogurt is a heathier alternative to ice cream. This translates to my personality-I am currently trying to become more balanced as a person. I follow the twelve steps and go to groups and am working towards becoming more serene, so the frozen yogurt represents my wanting to not be too extreme in life and yet my life has plenty of flavor and is becoming more and more sweet.
Raspberries - These are my favorite fruit. I absolutely love raspberries and everybody in my house knows that if they buy any raspberries, then they better get an extra carton for me, because I will not be able to stop myself! They are also red, which is my favorite color.
1/4 t. Nutmeg - I had never put spices in a smoothie before, but I wish I had! Spice is the adventure in life. It is exciting change, which cannot be avoided. Well, that's partly true. Change cannot be avoided, but one can choose whether to view it as exciting or as something scary. I used to always view change as something scary, but I am trying to change my viewpoint. There were several spices that I could have tried: allspice, pumpkin pie spice, etc., but I chose nutmeg, because I'm a nut! (Sorry, I couldn't resist...) Like I've said many times on this blog, I have schizoaffective disorder and probably generalized anxiety disorder and these disorders are part of who I am. I tried to deny that for many years-I wouldn't take my medicine, I wouldn't get enough sleep, I wouldn't do the things that I need to do in order to manage my illnesses. It has taken me a long time, but I have finally learned that I must mange my illness in order to be the best person that I can be.

Blueberries - More fruit! Blueberries are rich in antioxidants, which are good for you, except I don't quite understand what all antioxidants do, so I am going to really stretch out on a limb and say that's like the nature of God in my life. God is good. God is Love. Godde changes my life for the good in ways that I don't quite understand and that is good. Blueberries are also sweet and delicious and I think the same can be said about Godde's love.

I also intentionally had a lot of fruit in my dish, because I am fruity, meaning, I am queer. Technically I am bisexual, because I am attracted to both males and females, but I prefer the term queer. Why? The term queer denotes a feeling of differentness and it's one of the reasons why I am not going to seminary. Even if I were to fall in love with a man and have a monogamous relationship with him, I would still be queer. It's hard to explain, but I would still find women attractive and I would still have pride about that. I decided years ago that I would stop hiding who I am and it makes me sad that because I will not hide a part of me that I cannot go to seminary.

Well, I could, but my minister thinks that the stigma there would cause great depression in me and she is probably right.
Add milk - Milk helps keep us strong and prevents osteoporosis. This is my committement to recovery. I go to many meetings, see a sponsor, a therapist, and participate at my church. I seek out other recovery oriented people. I take my medicine. Occasionally I see a nutritionist. I read positive books. I must do these things to stay healthy. Recovery is not a halfway thing-you are either living in recovery or you are not. This day, this moment, I choose recovery.

Blend all these ingredients together and you've got a beautiful drink! All of my qualities are blended together, you cannot separate my queerness from my sense of adventure or my mental illness from the wholeness I receive from Godde. It is all a part of me and it is all beautiful and delicious!

3 comments:

  1. Nice!!!! Thanks for participating! I could really do a tall glass of that right now! :-)

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  2. This post was so thoughtful...I felt like I really got a lot of insight into you who are from reading it. You seem like such a strong person...I love how you just put everything out there and are so open about your struggles. And the smoothie looks delicious too!

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  3. Welcome Joanne! And thank you to both of you. It WAS delicious! In fact, I probably will be making a smoothie today, as the girl I tutor loves smoothies.

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