Showing posts from March, 2010

"Bully" is a Damaging Label Too

I talk a lot about labels on this site and how they can be harmful to people's self esteem. I absolutely hate it when people refer to those that have a mental illness as "that schizophrenic" or "that depressed person." How about "that person who has schizophrenia" or "depression" instead? You could say that I am hyper sensitive to noticing when people make these kind of comments. But I never thought about how the word "bully" is another damaging label until a girl I know got called a bully. According to "The Free Online Dictionary," a bully is a person who "is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people." I cannot go into detail over what happened, but trust me when I say that this person is not a bully. When one is labeled a bully then that person does not have a chance to redeem herself, because people's judgements are already made. But what if what happened was a misundersta

Psalm 37

Do not worry about evil, But live with hope And wait patiently, For all will be righted. Stop being angry But live in peace. Your soul will flourish If you water it with time. Follow Godde's way And do not be afraid, For if you should fall, Godde will lift you up. So be merciful to others And give freely. Godde loves justice, But it is tempered with mercy. Do not worry about the rich, For they may have wealth, But they might not possess peace. Be rich in peace and produce abundant love. ****************************************** To compare it to the original, go here .

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants - An Honest Movie about Dealing with Disability

I watched the movie, "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants," last night and I thought it was an excellent movie. I really liked how it sensitively covered the topics of suicide and disability. One of the girls is dealing with the death of her mother by suicide and it is refreshing in that the movie did not glamorize her death or horrify it. I have had several friends kill themselves and consequently, I can be really triggered by talk or images of suicide, but this movie does not talk about how the mother killed herself at all and it did not show any images of the death either. I have found that when someone kills or tries to kill herself people usually want to know the how, which always annoys me, because the how is not important. What is important is not the specifics, but the fact that it happened at all and how you are going to deal with it. I think people want to know how it happened, so that they do not have to deal with the awful feelings that are left in the person&

Conquering More Fear Foods and Cooking Bacon

Yesterday I was back to making dinner, which was a little bit of a relief. The food I had eaten at my retreat with friends was good, but I was ready for something a little more healthy. I had also just missed cooking! But that did not mean that I was done with eating fear foods, because I cooked bacon for the first time ever! I made a dish called "Sweet and Sour Bean Trio" from Phyllis Good's cookbook, "Fix-It and Forget-It Lightly" and not only does it call for four pieces of bacon, crumbled up, but for two tablespoons of the bacon drippings! It was hard for me to believe that it was included in a "healthy" cookbook. I had to remind myself that fat is part of healthy eating and that the bacon drippings would be dispersed throughout the whole bean mixture. I served the beans over rice, and man, they were delicious! I will definitely make them again. The beans were mostly sweet, which was fine with me, as you know I have a sweet tooth. Ingredients 4 S

Even My Plate is Smiling!

Doesn't that picture look delicious? It's a large peanut butter cookie with Reese's peanut butter cups in it. Yum!! This weekend I went to Lake Alatuna with a bunch of friends and had a great time. Even better, I kicked ED in the butt, as I ate many foods that were high in fat and were on my "fear foods" list. This is a Cuban pastry with guava jelly and cream cheese. Juicy sausage! Look, even my plate is smiling! A biscuit with sausage gravy and ham. I also had fried fish and fried okra-although as you may remember fried okra is not one of my fear foods...

SAMHSA Wellness Campaign Training Teleconference

Focus on Wellness to Increase Life Expectancy and Healthy Living of Individuals with Mental Health Problems How will we assist people with mental illnesses to recover if we cannot keep them alive and healthy? Whether we are in Federal, State, or local government, in the private sector or advocacy, this is a shared problem that demands a shared solution. -CMHS Director A. Kathryn Power (2007) What are the implications of the findings of higher rates of illness and shorter life spans among people with mental health problems than among the general public, and how can the mental health community promote wellness? To help consumers and providers explore this question, the SAMHSA 10x10 Wellness Campaign invites you to a free training teleconference entitled "Focus on Wellness to Increase Life Expectancy and Healthy Living of Individuals with Mental Health Problems." Register Today! To learn more and to register, please visit the following page:

A Relaxing Addiction

Okay, I have a confession to make-in cold weather I am addicted to hot beverages. I consume mug after mug of hot tea, chocolate, and coffee. It is comforting and relaxing, besides warming. Now that it is a little warmer, I will be drinking less hot drinks-although I will still have my morning coffee or black tea, but I had to share this really cool tea contraption that a friend gave me when I oohed and ahhed about hers. It's from the store, Teavanna, and you put in your hot water and loose tea leaves, let the tea steep, and then when you put it on top of your mug it automatically drains the tea into your mug. I love it, because I've tried loose tea in the past, but until now I had never found a way to not have the tea leaves pollute the water. What I love about drinking hot drinks, especially hot tea, is how relaxing it is. Drinking something hot forces me to drink slower, and to breath deeper, as I take in the hot steam. When I drink the tea, I am forced to pause and enjoy th

Psalm 36

The wicked dread facing Godde, But I look upon Her with awe, Admiration, and wonder. The wicked disregard wisdom And even in their sleep Do they dream of doing evil. But I dream of your loving mercy, For your marvelous lovingkindness Is endlessly deep and wide. God is like a mother bird Who nourishes and protects her young. She gives them life! O soul sustaining Mother Bird, Mother me some more- Fill me with your lovingkindness ********************************* Go here to compare it to the original. ********************************** I am really busy! Today in one of my groups, I talked about how I am constantly having to decide what stays in my life and what doesn't. What do I do and what don't I do. Sometimes I wonder how I got to be so busy! But the one thing that must always be first in my life is a life committed to recovery. I am slowly learning how to listen to my inner, deeper self. Last year I attended a workshop about the Enneagram, which is a way to under

Savor Life, Savor Soup

Yesterday when I got home from work, I immediately started cooking and I totally exhausted myself. I did not have a good feeling about the recipe I was using-the proportions seemed wrong and I was right. There was way too much vinegar in the recipe and I threw away the leftovers-I did not even offer any to my mom! Afterwards I felt physically and emotionally drained and I still had a church meeting to attend. I say "emotionally drained," because I put my heart into my cooking and if a recipe does not turn out right, I have to take some time to mourn the passing of something that could have tasted great. I was so tired after cooking my awful dinner that I had to take a nap and come to the meeting late. Fortunately, today's dinner was different. First off, I decided that I would take my time making dinner tonight. The recipe was not as involved, but I did not have anywhere to go, so there was no need to rush. More importantly, I learned something yesterday-when one rushes

Psalm 35

I am on trial And yet I am blameless. Hear my case, O Godde! You are the Supreme Just Judge. I know that You will judge fairly. I know that You will look upon me with favor. There are people that want my life- Show them the ways of peace. Show them your lovingkindness. Let them know that there is a better way- Your way! All I have done is be myself And that is no crime. I know you delight in me, Even if no one else does. I know that I am not alone- You are on my side. We must prepare for battle- It is a war for peace. We must battle the demons of the soul And those who wish to destroy me. I know we will win And I will know peace, For peace is found in You. ************************* The original is here . Right now I feel like the person in the psalm-I feel that there are people who are against me when my only crime is to be myself. My being includes mental illness and the fact that I am queer, which unfortunately means that seminary probably is not right for me and yet I feel call

The Proof is in The Cake

In case you need further proof of much better I am doing, here are pictures of an orange-chocolate cake that I helped eat at my church last Sunday. Oh my God, it was like heaven, and best of all, I did not feel guilty once!

My Turning Point

As I have already written, I went to a candlelight vigil last Thursday honoring those who still struggle with eating disorders and I became very emotional. I know that I already tried to explain what I was feeling, but as I have had more time to think about it, I will attempt to explain even further. Today is probably the first day that I am not really emotional, since then and the reason why I was is because the service was a major turning point for me. While the first speaker was speaking, all of a sudden it dawned on me that I can not fall back on my eating disorder anymore. You see, even though I have been going through the twelve steps for several months now, I still had the mindset that if I ever found myself in a stressful situation that I would probably relapse into my old ways. I don't know why it was that exact moment, but I had a moment of clarity that brought me to tears. I cannot go back to my old ways, no matter what. I just can't. Until today I was in mo

February Books

1. “The Princess and The Bear” by Mette Ivie Harrison. I heartily recommend this book to preteen girls or to anyone that likes well written young adult fantasy. I read this book aloud to the girl I tutor and we both enjoyed it a lot. It has a very strong female character, who does not shy away from danger, sword fighting, magic, or freeing animals from cages. I also liked how the book does not shy away from tough issues without becoming too deep. The book is the second in a trilogy and I would like to read the other two. The book also carries the theme of ecological responsibility without being too preachy. I would recommend this book to preteens/teens over crap like the “Twilight” series any day. I did a post about the author on my old Femi Nation blog. 2. The Bible’s Hosea – I thought the metaphors in this book were beautiful and I really enjoyed this book. I thought it was so beautiful that I often wondered why this book is so neglected in talks about the Bible. “I will betroth yo

Stop the Stigma!

Earlier today I was listening to my favorite radio station, DaveFM , when my internal stigma alert started beeping-one of the djs said this:"...and some of the psychiatric places are closed today, so there are more crazies out on the road." Really? Did you really need to say that?! It may sound harmless, but it's the kind of statement that fosters fear and discrimination. It is a very othering statement and it stigmatizes. For what kinds of people are the kind that visit psychiatric places? All kinds of people. Millions of people in this country go to psychiatric offices in order to see a doctor or therapist and the majority of these people are not dangerous. What is dangerous is stigma and fear, because it leads to intolerance and discrimination. DaveFM is still my favorite radio station, but I will be listening more intently to their speech. If I hear many more words like that, I may need to write the station!

Unleashing Your Inner Goddess has Nothing to Do with Shaving Your Legs!

I am a little peeved. Venus Razors has a commercial that at the end asks womyn to "unleash your inner goddess." That's all well and good, but one's inner goddess has nothing to do with removing one's leg hair. This is how you unleash your inner goddess: by listening to your body and to your own inner voice. By standing confident in the knowledge that you are a child of Godde. By pursuing justice! But whether you decide to keep your leg hair or to shave it off has nothing to do with real empowerment or living up to your true potential. I'll let you in on a little secret: I do not usually shave my legs! I don't even always shave my armpits. My skin is very sensitive and when I shave my legs I get a bunch of ugly, red, itchy bumps. Because of this I have decided to stay natural. This is my own decision and it does not matter to me one bit if you shave your legs-just please do not mistake shaving your legs for womanly empowerment. Want a real way to "un

Psalm 34

Godde's reputation is blameless, Shameless, unlike my own, So praise Godde And all that She has done! I look to Godde and I am humbled. I hear this truth: "There is no need to feel shame for you are My child." Praise The Blameless One with all your senses! Open your mouth And taste Godde's goodness. Open your mouth And speak kind words. Open your heart also And seek peace. Be in right relationship with Godde And with each other- Then it will be easier for The Holy One To hear your plea. For yes, You can be holy and depressed. You can be humble and hurt. You can be righteous In an unright world. Godde hears you. Godde loves you, And will deliver you. You are not lost Or broken, But are more and more Found and Whole. ************************************ Sorry it's been so long since my last psalm! To read the original, go here. I'd write more, but I'm really tired...