I talk honestly and openly about my experiences with mental illness, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome through the lens of feminism, fat acceptance and process theology. I also do recipe and book reviews. My mission is to spread the message that hope is always real for a better life, despite living in a world that is often very harsh.

Monday, April 12, 2010

I Found Freedom in Hamilton, GA

I'm back from my mission trip in Hamilton, GA and I have returned with many ideas for topics. Waiting for me at home, as I expected, was the Celestial Seasonings box, which was very exciting. I got a book about herbs, lip balm, honey, tea, a mug, a coaster, and the sleepytime bear!
Isn't he sweet?
The pack is a Celestial Seasonings "Wellness" Set, which is perfect, because allergies are seriously killing me right now. My throat is scratchy, my joints are achy, and I keep on sneezing and hacking. So far, I have enjoyed three cups of "Honey Lemon Ginseng Green Tea." (I do not know why the cropped version of the picture would not upload!) I picked out this flavor to try out first, because of the honey and the "natural Antioxidants" - I figure I need extra antioxidants with my allergies running rampant. I love the honey sticks provided and used them at first, but I found that they hid some of the flavor of the tea. With honey flavoring already in the tea, I think I may like at least this tea better without the extra honey. On the box the tea is described like this:

In this spirited blend, sweet honey, lively lemon and spicy, earthy ginseng provide a well-balanced and flavorful addition to our smooth blend of authentic green tea and delicate Bai Mu Dan white tea - one of the rarest and youngest of teas.

I love the tea and I cannot wait to try the others, but that was expected-when I was in Hamilton, GA, for the mission trip I found something else that was quite unexpected: freedom from the eating disorder! Now I am far enough in my recovery that I do not feel constantly bound by ED, but that is partly due to a lot of effort on my part. I was really nervous about going on the trip, because I would not be able to go to my regular groups or talk to the supportive people that I usually do. There was rich food for every meal, except lunch, and cookies everyday and when I realized that I would have almost no control over what I ate, I decided to let go of my need for control and just eat without worrying about the food prepared. I helped make the cookies most of the days and man, we made a lot! We made dozens of oatmeal cookies the first day and probably about a hundred of snickerdoodles. To be honest, I don't quite understand the point of making so many cookies. It makes me a little nervous to be around so much food that is not the healthiest, but I think that it is "healthy" for me to be outside of my comfort zone sometimes.
Another reason why I was totally free from ED is because I practiced selflessness on the trip. I spent almost all of my time with the girl I work with and most of my energy was used thinking up things for us to do. My own petty wants were just not in the equation! My eating disorder is a disease that loves to get me self-consumed. When I am totally immersed in my eating disorder, then all I can think of is myself. To be able to have a week where I am mostly thinking about someone else shows how far I have come in my recovery. Thinking and caring about other people is liberating and I am thankful.

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