I talk honestly and openly about my experiences with mental illness, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome through the lens of feminism, fat acceptance and process theology. I also do recipe and book reviews. My mission is to spread the message that hope is always real for a better life, despite living in a world that is often very harsh.

Friday, June 11, 2010

The Mirror

Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? (24, The Message Bible)
This quote rings very true for me, because I am very short. I was teased a lot as a child. The worst was when people would come up to me and exclaim, "You're short!" It's so rude and yet if I ever said anything sarcastic back, I always got the impression that I was being the rude one. For some reason, it is more acceptable in our culture to be the one making the obvious and rude observation and not the one making the obvious and correct comeback. Another statement that I used to get and still get is, "Oh, you make me feel tall!," which is slightly better. Long ago, my comeback to that statement is that I figure Godde put me here to make other people feel better about themselves. Now that statement is true-we are here to help others. I spent a lot of time in my childhood being a little bitter that I was so obviously "different," but as this quote says, no amount of wishing would help me grow. I stopped growing in fifth gradde and I have remained four feet and nine and a half inches ever since. Now I do not worry about my height and I do not try to keep my toes in painful high heels all the time anymore either, because I accept the way I look. What matters more-looking a certain way or being happy? Ths also applies to the weight I have put on-I have gained some weight, which does bother me a little bit, but I tell myself not to worry, because my happiness is so much more important.

Now while standing in front of a mirror will not make you grow an inch or lose an inch, for that matter, it is crucial to develop a good relationship with one's mirror. It is important to be able to look at one's self and say, "This is what I look like and I accept it." Hopefully, one can eventually say, "This is what I look like and I like it!" So I am going to start posting pictures that I have taken of myself in front of my mirror. I got this idea from Marianne Kirby from her blog, The Rotund, which is a wonderful fat acceptance blog. Kirby often posts pictures of herself of when she thinks she looks good and this has encouraged me. I think we need to honor the days when we feel good! I used to think to myself, "I think I look good today, I wish someone would take my picture..." No more-now I will take my own pictures when I feel like it. No more will I be afraid to show my face.
This is an outfit that always makes me feel good-the skirt is loose and flowy and the shirt is fun. It says, "Make music not war." I feel hip, creative, and just me in this outfit. I feel happy, confident, and at ease. Everyone needs an outfit that makes them feel good-what's yours?

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