I talk honestly and openly about my experiences with mental illness, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome through the lens of feminism, fat acceptance and process theology. I also do recipe and book reviews. My mission is to spread the message that hope is always real for a better life, despite living in a world that is often very harsh.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Sometimes Godde Purrs

This afternoon I came back to the house where I am cat-sitting really bummed. I had just found out that I have some more bills that I don't have the money to pay and I felt extremely overwhelmed. I laid down on the bed and worried and cried. As I was moaning, a soft body started rubbing against me. It was Miranda, my minister's cat! Miranda is an orange, female cat, who is very friendly. She was a comforting presence, but I continued to cry. Miranda then started purring, but I simply petted her and continued ranting. She then commenced purring right in my ear. I could not miss her happiness and I realized that I had a choice: I could continue feeling sorry for myself or I could take pleasure in hearing one of my favorite sounds. I had an epiphany, because I felt like Godde was talking to me through the cat's purr. It was like the line in Alice Walker's book, The Color Purple, "I think it pisses God off when you don't notice the color purple." Well, I realized that perhaps it would piss Godde off if I ignored a cat purring. So I stopped my crying and immersed myself in the moment. I loved the cat and Miranda in turn loved the attention. Soon after I felt good enough to sit up and take action. I was still shaky, but I was by now in a positive enough frame of mind to know that I needed to call someone. I ended up talking to a friend, who really helped me calm down.

This is what I learned today: take the time to fully listen to your surroundings. Be present in the moment. Listen to the purr of a cat or the voice of a friend-you never know where you will hear the sounds of the most holy one.

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