Today I had a revelation. I was in the car and someone answered the phone when I thought they wouldn't. I had been worrying about what would happen if I couldn't get in touch with them and after the phone call, I had this epiphany: Maybe all my worrying isn't so necessary after all. Maybe everything will be alright. My revelation may have been inspired by my minister's sermon on the same subject just a few days before. Or maybe the timing was finally right for this anxiety-ridden woman. Not that I think that I'll never worry again by a long shot. At my church, the congregation discusses what was said in the sermon, which I like a lot. I tried to explain what having an anxiety disorder is like, but I don't think I did a very good job. Of course, I thought of the perfect description a day later. Having an anxiety disorder is like having an annoying alarm bell go off in your head over and over again and the only way to stop it is by developing strange habits. This anxiety doesn't just happen over ordinary worries, like problems at work, but with illogical things, such as, "I left my coupons at home! Oh, no! I can't shop without them-if I do, I'm a bad person!" And I'm not worrying about shopping without coupons, because I'm poor and can't afford to buy food without them. I'm worrying about the coupons, because in my mind, shopping with coupons means everything in life will be alright. My OCDis a part of my eating disorder. I used to be a whole lot worse-years ago, my life was ruled by rules about food. Now I know the only way to get better is by confronting my compulsions head on. For instance, if I forget my coupons, I don't go home to get them, but continue shopping. This is very hard for me, because at that point, alarm bells are ringing extremely loudly in my head, but I must sigh and tell myself that everything will be alright.
I've been thinking a lot about how much I worry lately. I go to the grocery store a lot with my boyfriend and this has highlighted to me the fact that I still have issues with food. I want these issues to go away and the only way to do this is by fiercely attacking them. I worry about friends a lot too and there have been times when I have avoided friends instead of dealing with the worry that comes along with a friendship. The only way to attack this kind of worry is by forcing myself to talk to certain people. But as my minister pointed out last Sunday, Jesus tells us not to worry. Godde provides all we need and everything will be alright. Notice I did not say "everything we want!" And when I say everything will be alright, I don't mean that we never experience tragedy in our lives, but that no matter what happens, Godde is with us, encouraging us to choose the better path.
A recipe where I worried a lot, but everything turned out alright in the end were these pineapple beets. You see, my mom said that if you boil beets, you can rub the peel right off! Unfortunately, it seemed to take forever for the beets to become appropriately tender and finally my mom announced, "This beets are tender now or they never will be!"
So I rubbed the beets with a paper towel, being careful not to burn my hands, and the peel like magic came right off. It was pretty cool! Even better, the beets were perfectly tender.
It looks like a heart in my hand!
Pineapple beets are delicious! The pineapple makes them sweet, almost like a desert, and the dish is just as good cold as it is hot. Here's the recipe:
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 (8 ounce) can pineapple tidbits, undrained
1 (16 ounce) can sliced beets, drained
1 tablespoon butter or margarine
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1.In a saucepan, combine brown sugar, cornstarch and salt; add pineapple and bring to a boil, stirring constantly until thick, about 2 minutes. Add the beets, butter and lemon juice; cook over medium heat for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.
The pineapple beets are on the left. They have an almost jelly consistency and I will definitely make them again. Next time, without the worry.