I talk honestly and openly about my experiences with mental illness, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome through the lens of feminism, fat acceptance and process theology. I also do recipe and book reviews. My mission is to spread the message that hope is always real for a better life, despite living in a world that is often very harsh.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Spiritual Quote of the Day and Finding Value Amidst My Anger

God attempts to save what is lost and find value in every aspect of the world. (52, Making a Way Out of No Way, Monica Coleman)

Right now I am having a very frustrating experience dealing with a harmful person. I really cannot get into the situation, but I will say that I was extremely angry this morning. But then some friends helped me realize that I am giving this person way too much power over me. Several friends suggested I find something to be grateful in and I guess I was in a healthy frame of mind, because I took their advice. This surprised me a little, because usually I like to talk about what made me mad over and over again, which keeps me in the mode of righteous anger, but I realized today that I did not want to stay mad. What is happening to me is wrong, but staying angry and hurt only harms me more. And then I read this quote and I realized that I could find value in what had happened to me today. In fact, I can find a lot of value in what happened! You see, I am a very unconfrontational person and today I had to confront someone. In the past, I would have become so uncomfortable that I would have cried would have resorted to self-harm in order to run away from my feelings. They often say in recovery circles that people in recovery cannot afford to stay mad, not even if the anger is justified and I am beginning to see why. I don't think the people are saying that I should not experience anger at all-I cannot help my feelings, at least at first, and I think anger can sometimes be a good motivator. What I should not do is dwell in the anger for a long period of time, because after a while, stale anger becomes toxic. I was so angry that I quickly recognized that I needed to somehow let go of it or the anger would become harmful to me. I am thankful for this realization. The value in this situation is that I was shown just how healthy I now am and that realization makes me genuinely happy.

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