I talk honestly and openly about my experiences with mental illness, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome through the lens of feminism, fat acceptance and process theology. I also do recipe and book reviews. My mission is to spread the message that hope is always real for a better life, despite living in a world that is often very harsh.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Fat Tuesday, Fat Me

I absolutely love pancakes!  Not being Catholic, I never really celebrated Fat Tuesday growing up, although the church of my youth did honor Lent.  The church I belong to now is not Catholic either, but it does celebrate the liturgical calendar and so I have been introduced to Fat Tuesday and I love it!  Lent is the time when some Christians spiritually prepare for Easter by fasting or otherwise sacrificing something in order to make room for Godde.  To tell you the truth, I've never been a Lent fan.  I think it's sort of depressing and I'm not sure why we should only make room for Godde for forty days.  But what really bothers me about Lent is that typically it becomes a time when some Christians like to talk about what they're giving up as a kind of spiritual boasting and it gets on my ever-loving-last-nerve.  If there is one thing I can't stand it's religious bragging!  BUT I do love me some Fat Tuesday.  Fat Tuesday is the day before Ash Wednesday, when Catholics used to cook up all of their lard and butter and flour in order to prepare for the fasting.  Translation: a religious holiday where people gather to eat pancakes.  Yummy!
Don't those look good? Although I gave you reasons why I don't especially like Lent, I've noticed that this year I'm not dreading it like in years past.  I think it's because I know my emotions are better regulated than they used to be and I'm not worried that the somber reflections during Lent are going to upset me.  My psychiatrist recently lowered one of my medications and it has been absolutely amazing to me how much more energy I now have!  I feel so good that I am determined not to let a season that comes every year get me down.

Something else that doesn't really bother me anymore is that I am fat!  To be honest, I am trying to watch what I eat a little bit just so that I don't gain more weight, but I wouldn't say I am dieting.  And I'm certainly not afraid to show you my pictures now, just the way that I am.  These pictures are not from Fat Tuesday, but actually from a few months ago when I was going to some concert - I just wanted to show these pictures, because it's Fatshion February.  I really love the way this dress looks on me and it's pretty comfortable too.
(Dress: Ross; Cami: Target; Necklace: Garage Sale)  Sorry the pictures a little blurry.  Below is a close-up of my necklace, which was a great find at a garage sale.  I just love a good sale!
And so I am entering this Lenten season by giving up on one thing: my expectations of negativity.  Good things may happen in the next forty days and I am making room for them to happen.  For at least this moment, I hold no negativity towards my body or in my mind.  And those are things that are almost as good as pancakes!

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