Fortunately, this Valentine's Day was different. Yes, I am still single. No, I did not do anything exceptionally special-I worked in the morning and then I watched a movie with my mom at night. No one in my family really goes out of their way to celebrate Valentine's, even my parents only gave each other cards. I did do one thing right though: I worked on loving myself. One way I do that is by the way I talk and look at myself. I used to inspect my body every time I looked in the mirror and all I would see are my flaws. I used to tell myself horrible things and make myself feel bad. Now I work at telling myself that I am beautiful, even if I am no longer skinny and when my thoughts turn negative, I try to bring the cause of why I am feeling that way into my awareness. Usually my negativity (and yes, I still occasionally have even suicidal thoughts) is due to the fact that I am exhausted. Once I realize that I can breath a sigh of relief, because I know the feeling will fade once I get some sleep. By loving myself, I have learned how to take care myself. A couple I know that I thought would last forever recently broke up, reminding me that the only relationship that is guaranteed to last forever is the relationship between one's self and with one's Higher Power. In feminist circles, Valentine's Day is also a day when feminists typically speak against domestic violence. Did you know that one in three women will be the victim of domestic violence? So, during this Valentine season I urge you to love yourself and if you are in a relationship where you are beginning to feel threatened, please get help if you can!
Something that has helped me learn to love myself is the practice of taking pictures of myself when I feel good. Showing the pictures to my readers makes me feel good too and is the reason why February is now one of my favorite months!
(Shirt from Stein Mart, Leggings from Dillard's, shoes from Marshall's)
Another way I like to love myself is through my cooking. Here is a recipe from allrecipes.com
1/2 cup chopped onion,
1/4 cup butter
1 cup chopped celery
1 cup diced carrots
1 cup broccoli florets
3 cups water
3 cubes chicken bouillon
1/2 cup all purpose flour
3 cups 2% shredded cheddar cheese
salt to taste
ground black pepper to taste
1 1/2 cup milk
(I have a confession to make-I labeled the picture "vegetable chowder" before realizing that it is a different kind of soup. I believe it is instead of a vegetable, northern bean, and ham soup. I can't find the recipe for it anywhere. Both the vegetable chowder and the bean soup are good. Unfortunately, you only get the recipe for the chowder. Sorry!) Cheesy vegetable soup doesn't get much better and February is an excellent month for soups. Show yourself some love and eat some healthy, hearty, homemade soup!
Healing from BPD – The Boundary Bubble for the Emotionally Sensitive Person
Shakesville: Getting Real
That is a life that feels real to me, and fuller than my life without the internet, which is a tool that helps me actively maintain relationships with my dear and deeply valued friends, in spite of the social anxiety that constantly invites me to retreat.