I talk honestly and openly about my experiences with mental illness, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome through the lens of feminism, fat acceptance and process theology. I also do recipe and book reviews. My mission is to spread the message that hope is always real for a better life, despite living in a world that is often very harsh.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

HAWMC 28 - Words of Wisdom to 16-Year-Old Me

WEGO Health's HAWMC Day 28 Write a letter to yourself at age 16. What would you tell yourself? What would you make your younger self aware of?

whew...That's an emotional one!

To 16-Year-Old Me and All Other Struggling Teen Girls:

You are more special alive than dead.

 There are worse things in life than being fat...like everything.

Go ahead, take the risk and tell your parents just how much you are struggling with your eating disorder and/or depression and/or suicidal thoughts.  Maybe you would be hospitalized and maybe not, but the experience will NOT be like One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.

Perfectionism, control, is all an illusion and so let go and enjoy life more.

You have instincts-trust them!

Work hard on not caring so much about what other people think about you before this turns into a full-blown disorder.

Feminism is your friend.

Your sexuality is not bad, sinful, to be hidden away or to be feared, but to be celebrated, respected and treated well.  Rejoice in your sexual power!

Yes means yes! Consent is an enthusiastic yes-do not let anybody tell you differently.

You are not normal and that is how it should be.  Life is about accepting your not-normal-ness.

True power does not come from getting people to take care of you, but in being able to live interdependently with each other.  This may take you a long time to understand.

Hold on.  I know you don't fit in now, but you will fit in eventually. In the meantime, you are enough as you are.
**************
You don't have long to wait-in 2001, you will discover DragonCon and there you will finally feel at home.  You will say, "These are my people," and will come back year after year.  You will join several progressive churches where you will feel more accepted and like your personal beliefs do not clash with what is preached.  Also in 2001, your parents will finally recognize that you are struggling with mental illness and you will get the help you need.  It will be a long, long road that you are still walking, but it is not as bad as you had feared and recovery has proven to be a truly wonderful thing.

But in the meantime...

you are enough as you are.


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