He has shown you, O [wo]man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8When I give a tour of the place where I work, I tell people that every staff has taken a training called Intentional Peer Support. So now we are actually having the training. It had been a while since the last time. I'm really enjoying it. Sometimes the videos we watch or the topics we talk about are a little intense but in the end, the premise is simple - to learn how to better intentionally support our peers. I thought I would share my notes, just like I did for the DBT class. This is the first week out of two. (Unfortunately, I lost my notes from the first night of training. I am heartbroken.]
Peer support is all about having a connection. When a person has a connection but also has an issue with someone, they can express themselves by saying, "I see, I feel, I need..." When using this formula, do not say, "I feel like," or "I need for."
When Listening To Peers:
- Remember LOVE - Listen, Ask Open Ended Questions, Validate, Empathize
- Listen from a position of not knowing - Approach each call as if it is the first time speaking with the caller.
- It's not about our perception - It's about their reality.
- Listen for the person's own worldview - to each person, what they are saying makes sense.
- Don't ask "why" but think of Grease: "Tell me more..."
- Find comfort in the discomfort - it is not our job to fill up space or to entertain.
- Have no agenda - Our job is not to fix people but to walk with them in their journey.