Inside God, evil and the immediacy of sorrow and pain are transformed into something of value. Inside God, good is saved in relation to the whole.
~Monica A. Coleman, Making a Way Out of No Way
It's been a while since I've posted a quote! I have been hinting lately that something good is happening in my life right now besides cooking good food, wearing cute clothes, and learning new coping skills, but I have been reticent in saying what. No more! The good news is that I have gotten a job where I will work with adults with developmental disabilities. The job is full-time and with benefits, which is extremely good news for me. Hopefully, this job will allow me to fulfill the dream that I talked about in the "Hopes and Dreams" portion of my In Our Own Voice presentation, which is to be self-sufficient and living on my own. Of course, I know that this will not happen all at once and that I need to wait a while and save my money before rushing out of my parent's house. Still, I am extremely happy and excited.
I am also excited, because this job will allow me to be extremely creative and to use some of the skills I learned in music therapy school. Having to leave school due to my mental illness was an extremely low point in my life and I feared that all my hard work was wasted. I had an English degree and half a music therapy degree and for what? A job in retail seemed to be all I could do and then when I had to quit my retail job, because of my fibromyalgia, life seemed really grim. I felt like I was a failure. Eventually I got on medicine that has helped my fibromyalgia and my depression, but still I felt like I was stuck in limbo. When I got the job that I am currently finishing now where I work with a teenager with a developmental disability, I began to feel like I could see some purpose in my life, especially since one of the reasons I was hired is because I worked with a drumming group for adults with developmental disabilities in Milledgeville. Now I am in the process of being hired for a job that also is the result of this group in Milledgeville and my recent work with a person with a developmental disability.
My mental illness was evil for many years. I had to change schools two times-I also left Berry College due to being suicidal in 2003-and I struggled to take my medications, eat, and otherwise take care of myself properly. I doubted that I would ever be able to fulfill my dreams and that I would ever be able to productive member of society. At times, I was very angry with Godde and/or I believed that Godde was out to get me and yet, I always knew deep down that Godde has a purpose for my life and that She loves me. I knew it and yet I often could not feel it.
When I came home in 2009 from Georgia College and State University, I decided that I would dedicate my life to living in recovery and inside the will of Godde. I joined NAMI and eventually became one of their facilitators. I started going to an AA group and an aftercare group provided by The Ridgeview Institute. I started providing music for my church again and now I am considered my church's assistant music minister. This summer, I studied theology with my minister, I serve on Circle of Grace's governing council, and I occassionally preach. I am doing my best to live inside the path of recovery and inside the heart of Godde.
And so I have seen my life transform. I am no longer merely surviving, but thriving. I help others and I feel joy again. Slowly, I am beginning to see how Godde is turning my evilness and sorrow into something good.
The day after I found out that I was "provisionally hired," I took the girl I work with to a new bakery called Sassy Girl.
It's a place that mainly serves custom cakes, cookies, and cupcakes. I told Chrissy that we would each get a mini cupcake. I needed to celebrate my new job and what better way than eating a glittery cupcake?!
I just LOVE glitter! And key lime cupcakes! My cupcake was absolutely delicious-full of flavor and very moist. The frosting was perfect! Many times, I find bakeries overload on the frosting and I find the frosting to be overpowering and way too rich, but I loved Sassy Girl's frosting. It was also full of flavor and just the perfect combination of richness, sweetness, and creaminess.The greenness of this cupcake looks perfect for St.Patrick's Day! Sassy Girl also offers cupcakes and other goodies with alcoholic flavors like strawberry margherita and mojito that I really want to try. I'll have to go back sometime by myself and order a couple!
Go visit Sassy Girl at 3153 Sugarloaf Parkway, Suite 103, in Lawrenceville, GA, 30045.
"Inside God, good is saved in relation to the whole." Inside my stomach, a key lime mini cupcake tastes good too!