I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them, I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Then they will follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. They will be my people, and I will be their God. Ezekiel 11:19-20
Ezekiel has a vision and this is part of what Godde says to him about the Israelites. I relate to these verses a lot, but more in a recovery way. I don't have "a heart of stone" and never did, but there have been times when my commitment to recovery has not been full-on. Ever since I told my doctor almost a year ago that I would agree to go back on Zyprexa, even though I might gain weight on it, I feel like a new spirit has been put in me. And then I took the dialectical behavioral therapy class and what had once been a heart of chaos and drama turned into a heart of wisdom and mindfulness. Now that I know just how precious my recovery is, I will do my best to keep it. That means taking my medication and talking to my doctors and therapist. It means eating regularly and attending support groups. It means continuing to practice my DBT skills and working on my spirituality. I believe my Godde wants what is best for me and that is a life lived in Recovery. Octavia E. Butler says that "God is Change" in her science fiction books, the Bible says "God is Love," and I say that "God is Recovery." Actually, I believe that Godde is all three. The Godde that desires my own serenity, peace, and joy is my Godde and I am one of Her children. It is up to me to let my own heart light shine out brightly in order to show other people how to be Her children too.