"Homesick for Heaven" Not Trauma-Informed

For in Christ, neither our most conscientious religion nor disregard of religion amounts to anything.  What matters  is something far more interior: faith expressed in love.  (The Message Bible)

Just last month I attended a Christian Christmas concert called, "Make the Yuletide Gay," and I absolutely loved it!  I am very wary of contemporary Christian music, as I have found it to be pretty cheesy in the past.  However, this Christian concert was very different featuring the music of Crys Matthews, Heather Mae, and my new favorite, drag queen Flamy Grant. All three musicians sang many empowering songs about being gay but not being ashamed.  Their music was smart, clever, funny, and heart-stirring.  I felt seen with this Christian music in a way I usually don't.

(from left to right, Heather Mae, Crys Matthews, Flamy Grant)

I bought a lot of their merchandise and have been listening to their cd's in my car nonstop.  (I got a CD adaptor for my car!)

My current two favorite songs are "What Did You Drag Me Into" and "Esther, Ruth, and Rahab" by Flamy Grant.

The song, "Esther, Ruth, and Rahab," makes me tear up a bit, and I just love the lyrics.

Here's the first little bit:

In the church that I was raised, all the women hid their hair

What can only be called doilies made of lace.

They sat beside their husbands, and they never spoke a word

Cause public prayer was not a woman's place.

But literally any man was welcome to stand up

And for an hour we would listen to them talk

So I guess the lesson there was God would only hear a prayer

If it came from a person with a cock.

Listening to these lyrics made me think that maybe I should give Christian radio another try, but I was wrong.  The song playing when I turned on the radio was "Homesick for Heaven, " by Phil Wickham.  Whew!  Talk about triggering!  The whole song is about this guy wanting to be in heaven.  Do you know what that's called?   Longing for death, although not explicitly expressing suicidal ideations, is called "passive suicidality," and it really should not be promoted as a healthy behavior.  When I heard the song, I thought to myself, "This guy needs help!" and "is this promoting SI?" under the guise of a devoted Christian?  How gross!  When I was a teen, I often longed to be in heaven; I would say I was longing for "home," but "home" definitely meant heaven. I thought of how I would have related to this song as a teen, but not as a devoted Christian, but as someone who wanted out of my life but was scared to tell the right people.  When I finally told my youth pastor, she did not take it seriously.  Later, when I told her about my eating disorder behavior, she did not take that confession seriously either.

Christians need to take mental health seriously, and we need to be more careful with our words.  If a teen reaches out to you and says something like "I wish I was in heaven," know that it is not healthy Christian thinking.  Listen intently and then follow it with empathetic action.

I was so disappointed by my venture into Christian radio that I am back to my old reservations.  I do still love Flamy Grant though.  If you know of any other fabulous trauma-informed Christian artists, please drop their info in the comments.