Wednesday, August 10, 2016
Friday, August 5, 2016
Slow Kingdom Coming by Kent Annan - I hated the first part, which seemed like an advertisement for his friend's church but the book got better. The book is basically about the fact that there are many ways to superficially, consumerally show support for justice but that with more focus and careful consideration, a person can make a better contribution to bringing God's kingdom to Earth. I liked his section on confession as part of justice work. I don't confess enough. His book had nothing I had not heard of before but I put some of his quotes in my inspirational quote book. I liked what he said about needing gratitude and joy.whatever we follow is what we’re transformed by - Slow Kingdom Coming by Kent Annan.
Joy can be a kind of lifeline as we work for justice, which exposes us to suffering and exacts a toll on us.I have also found them to be instrumental in keeping me going. His book seemed to be basically spiritual intentional peer support (IPS) to me. IPS is a training that I took at work and we also emphasize partnering with, empathetically listening, cultural competency, and showing respect towards all. It was nice to see what I believe mirrored in a spiritual book, although it would have been nice if I had been introduced to something new. Instead, I had what I already believe and practice reaffirmed. (Although I did appreciate the reminder to confess.)
Thursday, August 4, 2016
We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we would stand-out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise. (The Message Bible, 315)On day three, the sea was very calm, just like me:
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Live out your God created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you. (The Message Bible, 22)Yesterday, as I looked at my big family getting along and being merry together, I thought to myself,
I am so privileged.I am not saying this because I think I am better than others or because I think I think I deserve more because of somehow working harder. I do not have time for bootstrapping myths. What I do have time for is to appreciate the good things in my life.
- I have a big extended family that gets along for the most part.
- My family has superb cooks who cook in a way that doesn't upset my stomach.
- We know how to relax.
- Despite my lack of money, my needs are fully taken care of.
- I do not feel judged by my family.
- I feel comfortable around my family.
- I feel comfortable in my own skin.
- I am surrounded by beauty.
- I am safe.
- I am loved.
Monday, August 1, 2016
You're blessed when you're content with just who you are-no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought." (19, The Message Bible)
It is time for for my summer vacation posts! I didn't do them last year because I was too busy. Fortunately, this summer vacation is more relaxed, so I should be able to post every day.
We are at Nag's Head, North Carolina, on the outer banks. I wish we were boycotting North Carolina but as my family decided not to, I figure I might as well enjoy the vacation.
Yesterday, as I was climbing the stairs to the house, I thought to myself,
nothing is more sacred than sanity.
It is so refreshing and wonderful to be on vacation and not be exhausted and depressed. I feel free. DBT has helped me the way I knew it would and today I am not anxious but very happy. I feel comfortable in my own skin and it is a very luxurious, utterly enjoyable emotion. Thanks to mindfulness, I am able to recognize these feelings and fully revel in them. Today, I am emotionally rich.
To celebrate my new found confidence yesterday, I took many selfies. So what if I am fat?! I am still flabulous! Because of my fibromyalgia, I am not able to exercise as much as I would like but I do genuinely enjoy eating healthy. Many people assume that I am dieting when they see how I eat but I do not and never will. One really can be healthy and happen to be fat. Of course, even if I was not healthy, I would still be flabulous because health does not actually equal self-worth.
Here I am being happy:
I can take pride in how I look, no matter my weight.
Time to relax!
Saturday, July 30, 2016
And it shall come to pass that just as you were a curse among the nations, O house of Judah and house of Israel, so I will save you, and you shall be a blessing. Do not fear, let yor hands be strong. Zechariah 8:7-8
It's funny how the universe works. All my life I wanted to be part of a theater company and I thought I would need extensive schooling and training to be great. When I had to switch majors from music performance to English because of my anxiety and depression, I felt like a total failure. I was giving up my dream, I thought, forever.
All those years spent thinking and dreaming of being onstage since a young child did not go to waste, however. I am now part of a theater company. I've found that our intentions come true but never on our own time frame. In order to perform successfully, I had to learn how to be totally in the moment and how to let myself go - two things I learned in DBT.
The Rise Theater is a theater company in Georgia made up of people in recovery. We collaborate and figure out ways to tell little snippets of our recovery stories in the most creative way possible. Our stories are powerful, deep, and empowering. It occurred to me yesterday after a performance that I am now living my dream - it's not in the way I originally wanted it to be or in the time frame I wanted but I am now doing what I love and have always wanted to do. I always wanted to support myself as an artist and while I am not there yet, I no longer see it as a failed dream. I am currently working on another altered book to submit in an art contest and the goal is to get enough funding for The Rise Theater players to be paid. In short, I now feel like there are possibilities where I used to see failures. I am on my way. I do not know exactly what it will look like but I now know that I will one day be able to support myself, at least partly, onstage and on canvas.
If there is something you really want, think about it night and day. Think about it in a positive way - don't dwell on your fears. Take a deep breath. Unfortunately, our intentions do not manifest instantly. The universe - higher power - God - has to prepare us and make us ready to step into success. We have to let go of fear in order to embrace our future in a positive, recovery centered way.
Tuesday, July 19, 2016
Though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines; though the labor of the olive may fail, and the fields yield no food; though the flock may be cut from the fold , and there be no herd in the stalls-yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. Habakkuk 3:17-18I am very sad. Yesterday, my roommate and I had to put our other roommate's dog down. It was one of the saddest things I have ever done. Opal was a beautiful black lab with a sweet heart. She greeted everyone at the door with a shoe and in fact, often would wait up for me late at night, even though she was not my dog. I thought it was funny how she would turn to look at me and give me a little kick with her back leg when I would stop petting her.